The Six Stages of Food Reading

There are a plethora of books, articles and brochures out there about being a vegetarian, a vegan, an omnivore, a carnivore, a microwave food eater, a processed food eater, a junk food eater, a small portions eater, a bread eater, a non-bread eater, a gluten free eater, an exotic foods eater, a farmer's market food eater... and the list could go on an on. 

The question I want to know is... what good is it to read these books? I am a huge advocate of reading and books- don't get me wrong. I am a Reading Rainbow character over here! But, when you read these books something totally expected and completely unwanted starts to happen. 

Here are the Six Stages of Food Reading:

1) You become more informed. It's nice- you feel smarter, more experienced in the ways of the world, more culturally aware, more ready for conversations about random things. 

2) You become concerned. You are nervous that you didn't know all of this information before and you are wondering years of eating a specific way has done to your body? Those of your friends and loved ones? This is a serious issue, you start to think.


3) You are called to action. What you have read in your books has changed you. You are ready to follow the ten easy steps to changing your life as described in detail with cute little pictures and fun phrases in the book. You can do this. Why wouldn't you? You already know so much- you can't turn back now. You must commit.


4) You are infuriated. Now that you are a full fledged member of this club, eating as descrbied and being passionate about the same issues as the author is- you are ready. How dare these industires sit around inflicting their _________ food (insert whatever it is you're reading about here)? How could people not know about this? What can you do on a bigger scale to impact this?


5) You read more. Now that you have been called to action you can truly devote yourself to this cause and become an advocate in every sphere of your life. You tell your friends and family, you try and share your knowledge and loan this book to some poor unsuspecting soul that you felt you could trick into sharing your beliefs. But, it's not enough. You need more. You read more. You get more books on being a _______ and your world starts to turn. 


6) You can never eat again. You are now at a point where you are not just a well educated person on the topic of _______. You are now a person who knows a lot about this topic and all of the subtopics that could possibly pertain to this. And you can never eat again. You are scared that a pesticide, gluten particle, or some other foreign substance that will obviously prevent you from having potential offspring at some point is lurking on this food. Restaurants are out of the question. Those places are breeding grounds for everything  that you read about. That's it. No eating. Unless you prepared it. Which obviously you are not able to do because you are super busy. So, goodbye food. It's nice knowing you. Hello being that person who lurks by the buffet lines accidentally dropping facts that no one wants to know about when it pertains to the food that they are about  to consume. Hello being the incredibly thin lady who has small thin shoulders that make people nervous to hug you. 


So, after describing the Six Stages of Food Reading I think I know what you're thinking... 
what do I recommend you read?